On the surface, you'd never know I have social anxiety. No one else can see the sheer terror I feel in the lead up to social events, the minutes before the Zoom switches on, the reasons behind my silence in meetings.
Roll back to December 20th 2018. I was not in a good way. I've said before that Christmas time is usually not the best time of year for me with my seasonal affective disorder and all but it wasn't just that. My proverbial stress bucket had well and truly overflowed. So many stresses going in … Continue reading Not well, one year on.
Rather a grand title isn't it. True though. It's now the middle of November and we're tiptoeing into the wintery, dark months. Unfortunately for me, and a lot of other people, that means usually one thing. Season affective disorder comes knocking. Mine decided to finally officially join the table a couple of weeks ago, after … Continue reading Changing of the season
Well it's Thursday 10th October 2019. Another normal day you think. In fact it's a very important day - today is World Mental Health Day. A day to be aware of our own and others mental health. A day to show that mental health and mental illness are in fact different. Mental health is something … Continue reading World Mental Health Day 2019 – Me
So being female sometimes really sucks. You're just strolling along the path of life, la di dah and BAM. INCOMING. Hormones. One minute you're okay then the next you're crying because you burned toast, then you're enraged because your jacket keeps falling off the hanger. So much fun eh? Monthly or in my case whenever … Continue reading Up and down
So it's been a while since I last posted. Remember in around November when I embarked on solo travel abroad for the first time, and it pretty much all ended in tears? Or rather an anxiety induced meltdown caused by a combination of getting used to new medication, being in a completely different country , … Continue reading Hannover
As a bit of a follow on from my last post, and the part about my past, the last year has been, at least mental health wise, rather up and down. Anxiety isn't predictable as such, I can't tell if next Wednesday for example I'm going to have 'a bad anxiety day' far in advance … Continue reading History
I'm starting to write this on a transpennine express train from Liverpool to York. Technically I'm still supposed to be in Budapest. From my last post you could probably tell that all was not really ok. In fact it did reach the point where the anxiety became so overwhelming that I felt I had to … Continue reading Coming home.
Isn't it nice to go on holiday with someone? Well it is if that someone isn't your own thoughts. I'm currently on holiday flying solo in Budapest and good old anxiety is squeezing it's hand on my shoulder. It's worse because I'm alone in another country that I don't know, a language that I don't … Continue reading On holiday with anxiety.
So my last post about making progress. I've seemingly got a bit of a roll on. As I'm writing this bit of the post at 10pm ish on Tuesday 10th July, the past 5 days including today have been pretty much minimal or free of anxiety. Today has also potentially showed how far I've come … Continue reading Calm.