Actually no, I’m not “fine”

On the surface, you'd never know I have social anxiety. No one else can see the sheer terror I feel in the lead up to social events, the minutes before the Zoom switches on, the reasons behind my silence in meetings.

Hannover

So it's been a while since I last posted. Remember in around November when I embarked on solo travel abroad for the first time, and it pretty much all ended in tears? Or rather an anxiety induced meltdown caused by a combination of getting used to new medication, being in a completely different country , …

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Ok. Or?

Well last week I finally did it. I left my job. At the moment it's quite a difficult thing to adjust to but realistically was the only option. The people were amazing frankly, and were what kept me sane and hanging on for grim death for so long, but I just couldn't adapt and cope …

Not reet.

Well you can tell I'm Yorkshire by the title can't you!! In all seriousness, since I last posted, I have struggled. I went back to work but regretted going back and effectively diving in headfirst into what I'd been doing before in terms of workload. Yeah. Didn't entirely go well. Doesn't need much more saying …

Tears and tablets

So I'm here in the second week of tapering off my citalopram and next week I start sertraline. So far, frankly it's been hell on wheels. I feel an absolute fucking mess. My judgement is terrible, I can't sleep without medication at the moment, my moods are all over. I swing from okay to tears …