Actually no, I’m not “fine”

On the surface, you'd never know I have social anxiety. No one else can see the sheer terror I feel in the lead up to social events, the minutes before the Zoom switches on, the reasons behind my silence in meetings.

Battery low

I started to have a trauma response to the situation I found myself trapped in. I started becoming withdrawn, more irritable. My auditory hallucinations reappeared for the first time in a long time

Hannover

So it's been a while since I last posted. Remember in around November when I embarked on solo travel abroad for the first time, and it pretty much all ended in tears? Or rather an anxiety induced meltdown caused by a combination of getting used to new medication, being in a completely different country , …

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History

As a bit of a follow on from my last post, and the part about my past, the last year has been, at least mental health wise, rather up and down. Anxiety isn't predictable as such, I can't tell if next Wednesday for example I'm going to have 'a bad anxiety day' far in advance …

Mental Health Awareness 2019

So it's "Mental Health Awareness week" 2019 . I've been quiet for a while for various reasons,including a distinct lack of motivation and inspiration to post or write a post. I mentioned previously that I'd started some counselling. The first lot of counselling I paid for, and although it wasn't CBT , it was really …

Changes

So in my last blog I spoke about not being happy where I was. At the moment, there's an almost emotional war going on inside myself wondering if I'm doing the right thing, doubting myself all the time , coming over really anxious. That said I have been thinking recently and realistically I haven't really …

Coming home.

I'm starting to write this on a transpennine express train from Liverpool to York. Technically I'm still supposed to be in Budapest. From my last post you could probably tell that all was not really ok. In fact it did reach the point where the anxiety became so overwhelming that I felt I had to …

It comes and it goes

Funny thing medication. Sertraline week 2 survived. Just. Starting a new medication is tough. Hoo boy not half! It's supposed to take a while to get used to new medication , I've definitely learned that this week! From a few months ago before I had migraines and all the issues with sumatriptan and citalopram and …

Cycles are….

Bit of an odd title I know. I've spoken previously about how my anxiety and depression tends to go in cycles. Well today was not a good day. A bad cycle which probably started on Friday. I didn't particularly see it coming until it had already enveloped me. I just felt like I was being …

Mental Health Awareness Week 2018

So it's Mental Health Awareness Week this week (w/c 14th May 2018). The week where suddenly mental health is in the spotlight of the UK for a week, a lot gets said about what is apparently going to happen, what will be done etc, sadly this tends to be forgotten about as soon as the …