Actually no, I’m not “fine”

On the surface, you'd never know I have social anxiety. No one else can see the sheer terror I feel in the lead up to social events, the minutes before the Zoom switches on, the reasons behind my silence in meetings.

Ah, you’re back. But you won’t beat me

I had written poetry before (as mentioned in previous posts) but I guess it was never this raw and personal. I found it really powerful.

Hannover

So it's been a while since I last posted. Remember in around November when I embarked on solo travel abroad for the first time, and it pretty much all ended in tears? Or rather an anxiety induced meltdown caused by a combination of getting used to new medication, being in a completely different country , …

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History

As a bit of a follow on from my last post, and the part about my past, the last year has been, at least mental health wise, rather up and down. Anxiety isn't predictable as such, I can't tell if next Wednesday for example I'm going to have 'a bad anxiety day' far in advance …

Tears and tablets

So I'm here in the second week of tapering off my citalopram and next week I start sertraline. So far, frankly it's been hell on wheels. I feel an absolute fucking mess. My judgement is terrible, I can't sleep without medication at the moment, my moods are all over. I swing from okay to tears …