History

As a bit of a follow on from my last post, and the part about my past, the last year has been, at least mental health wise, rather up and down. Anxiety isn't predictable as such, I can't tell if next Wednesday for example I'm going to have 'a bad anxiety day' far in advance …

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Contact.

So I feel like I've made some real progress not in terms of absolutely mountainous steps but apparently concrete progress. Over the last few days I've had situations triggering anxiety which would have normally put me 'out of action' so to speak for a full day causing a lack of focus in work and in …

Nightmare.

Ok so I think I've mentioned briefly about an unfortunate side effect of citalopram - strange dreams. This weird shit combines with the anxiety itself and makes it seem very real the next day. In fact this happened very recently (Monday night/Tuesday) , and what happens is the anxiety is no longer at a base …

Issues.

I can't believe how hard it is to forget about things. I genuinely think that anxiety finds joy in remembering previous long ago traumatic/scary/slightly regrettable even if they weren't significant or real regrets and bringing them up at random points. I find it really really hard to forget things, things that have really fucked me …

Meh.

Now I've read recently that being more anxious could mean that you're more intelligent and more creative. That's very interesting, as using myself as an example, I don't think I'm really that creative, but I can think outside the box to solve things (this is not a CV haha). Now in terms of intelligence, I …

First up.

So... here goes. I'm not really sure how to start this, but equally I have always been someone that doesn't plan what I'm going to say on a blog like this, I just kind of, well, let it flow on to the screen from what's going on in my head. I suppose this was prompted …