Actually no, I’m not “fine”

On the surface, you'd never know I have social anxiety. No one else can see the sheer terror I feel in the lead up to social events, the minutes before the Zoom switches on, the reasons behind my silence in meetings.

Honesty.

Welcome back, to those of you who read regularly and hi to new peeps! This post is a bit unusual for me in that it's a bit personal, and not unusual in that it's brutally honest. Looking over everything that's happened to me, that I've somehow survived, and yeah it does piss me off every …

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Battery low

I started to have a trauma response to the situation I found myself trapped in. I started becoming withdrawn, more irritable. My auditory hallucinations reappeared for the first time in a long time

New year, but not a new me

I appreciate I've been a little... Inconsistent posting just lately. A few reasons lie behind that, mostly work and other stuff , time running away with me, and most chiefly, not really having motivation to write anything. So, we're now in 2021. None of that new year new me BS though. At least, not from …

Something for a Wednesday.

So I guess I've learned a lot about myself in 2020 more than anything else. I've kind of been on a journey of self discovery and become more self aware

Ah, you’re back. But you won’t beat me

I had written poetry before (as mentioned in previous posts) but I guess it was never this raw and personal. I found it really powerful.

Fibro anxiety… shattered

So it's been a couple weeks since I got diagnosed with both joint hypermobility and fibromyalgia, and my god, it hasn't been easy since then. Not just because of the reality of having two "bonus " illnesses to deal with either. I've had a fibro "flare" to deal with, which frankly, is fucking nasty. It's …

A few words

So it's been a while. A few things have happened. I have started (have had 3 sessions so far) some therapy for my undiagnosed PTSD, called EMDR. EMDR is eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing, and from what I've been told by my therapist, and from what I've researched myself, is basically allowing the brain to …

Not well, one year on.

Roll back to December 20th 2018. I was not in a good way. I've said before that Christmas time is usually not the best time of year for me with my seasonal affective disorder and all but it wasn't just that. My proverbial stress bucket had well and truly overflowed. So many stresses going in …

Experience

No one ever died from talking about mental health, but too many have from feeling like they couldn't talk.