Actually no, I’m not “fine”

On the surface, you'd never know I have social anxiety. No one else can see the sheer terror I feel in the lead up to social events, the minutes before the Zoom switches on, the reasons behind my silence in meetings.

Battery low

I started to have a trauma response to the situation I found myself trapped in. I started becoming withdrawn, more irritable. My auditory hallucinations reappeared for the first time in a long time

Ah, you’re back. But you won’t beat me

I had written poetry before (as mentioned in previous posts) but I guess it was never this raw and personal. I found it really powerful.

A few words

So it's been a while. A few things have happened. I have started (have had 3 sessions so far) some therapy for my undiagnosed PTSD, called EMDR. EMDR is eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing, and from what I've been told by my therapist, and from what I've researched myself, is basically allowing the brain to …

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Changing of the season

Rather a grand title isn't it. True though. It's now the middle of November and we're tiptoeing into the wintery, dark months. Unfortunately for me, and a lot of other people, that means usually one thing. Season affective disorder comes knocking. Mine decided to finally officially join the table a couple of weeks ago, after …

World Mental Health Day 2019 – Me

Well it's Thursday 10th October 2019. Another normal day you think. In fact it's a very important day - today is World Mental Health Day. A day to be aware of our own and others mental health. A day to show that mental health and mental illness are in fact different. Mental health is something …

History

As a bit of a follow on from my last post, and the part about my past, the last year has been, at least mental health wise, rather up and down. Anxiety isn't predictable as such, I can't tell if next Wednesday for example I'm going to have 'a bad anxiety day' far in advance …

Mental Health Awareness 2019

So it's "Mental Health Awareness week" 2019 . I've been quiet for a while for various reasons,including a distinct lack of motivation and inspiration to post or write a post. I mentioned previously that I'd started some counselling. The first lot of counselling I paid for, and although it wasn't CBT , it was really …

A letter to you…..

Ok so this is probably not what you would class as a normal blog post from me but I wanted to do something a little different this time, sort of like a letter (hence the title) to you, the person reading this, that I might have unknowingly upset or offended, that I didn't mean to …

Changes

So in my last blog I spoke about not being happy where I was. At the moment, there's an almost emotional war going on inside myself wondering if I'm doing the right thing, doubting myself all the time , coming over really anxious. That said I have been thinking recently and realistically I haven't really …