Ah, you’re back. But you won’t beat me

I had written poetry before (as mentioned in previous posts) but I guess it was never this raw and personal. I found it really powerful.

Ok. Or?

Well last week I finally did it. I left my job. At the moment it's quite a difficult thing to adjust to but realistically was the only option. The people were amazing frankly, and were what kept me sane and hanging on for grim death for so long, but I just couldn't adapt and cope …

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The anxiety roundabout

I think I've spoken before about how anxiety can affect me on a scale. Some days it's almost like it isn't there, and others, like just recently it can be bubbling away at the forefront of my concentration , or manifest into a full blown anxiety attack. There is another level, if you like which …

Cycles are….

Bit of an odd title I know. I've spoken previously about how my anxiety and depression tends to go in cycles. Well today was not a good day. A bad cycle which probably started on Friday. I didn't particularly see it coming until it had already enveloped me. I just felt like I was being …

Tired.

There's a point when you get tired. Tired of socialising tired of people tired of talking. I'm at that point within my sleep cycle where my so called quality sleep is somewhat limited shall I say. That point is also really not helpful as it triggers off my anxiety at an above what's normal low …

Fear

Ok so maybe not always an anxiety thing but fear of failure is awful. I have a fear of failing - I set myself such high standards because I want to do everything either all at once or with no mistakes whatsoever. However my rational brain says, there's probably going to be an error somewhere, …

Feeling like…

So sometimes my anxiety reaches a point where I call it 'in crisis!' today I feel that. Little stupid insignificant things just add up over time and a tiny tiny thing comment or incident can just push me over the edge. I feel like I can't cope. I feel significantly incompetent at work, I feel …