Actually no, I’m not “fine”

On the surface, you'd never know I have social anxiety. No one else can see the sheer terror I feel in the lead up to social events, the minutes before the Zoom switches on, the reasons behind my silence in meetings.

Battery low

I started to have a trauma response to the situation I found myself trapped in. I started becoming withdrawn, more irritable. My auditory hallucinations reappeared for the first time in a long time

New year, but not a new me

I appreciate I've been a little... Inconsistent posting just lately. A few reasons lie behind that, mostly work and other stuff , time running away with me, and most chiefly, not really having motivation to write anything. So, we're now in 2021. None of that new year new me BS though. At least, not from …

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Something for a Wednesday.

So I guess I've learned a lot about myself in 2020 more than anything else. I've kind of been on a journey of self discovery and become more self aware

Ah, you’re back. But you won’t beat me

I had written poetry before (as mentioned in previous posts) but I guess it was never this raw and personal. I found it really powerful.

Letting go

So over the last two weeks I've had a lot to think about, a lot to consider after my last EMDR session in February. Yeah, the one that I wrote about at the very end of my last post. I think it was in the last week of February, and it appeared to, or at …

A few words

So it's been a while. A few things have happened. I have started (have had 3 sessions so far) some therapy for my undiagnosed PTSD, called EMDR. EMDR is eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing, and from what I've been told by my therapist, and from what I've researched myself, is basically allowing the brain to …

Not well, one year on.

Roll back to December 20th 2018. I was not in a good way. I've said before that Christmas time is usually not the best time of year for me with my seasonal affective disorder and all but it wasn't just that. My proverbial stress bucket had well and truly overflowed. So many stresses going in …

Experience

No one ever died from talking about mental health, but too many have from feeling like they couldn't talk.

Changing of the season

Rather a grand title isn't it. True though. It's now the middle of November and we're tiptoeing into the wintery, dark months. Unfortunately for me, and a lot of other people, that means usually one thing. Season affective disorder comes knocking. Mine decided to finally officially join the table a couple of weeks ago, after …