Not

This gets right on my tits…..

Anxiety is not where people get nervous before a big performance or an exam, or even a driving test. That shit is normal. The difference is, it isn’t constant, it goes away although intense for a bit.

Anxiety is where you are scared for no reason or every reason. Scared of going into a room because someone else might be in there or you might have to make eye contact or speak .

Scared of turning round a corner in public or at work in case someone , anyone, even a friendly face , is there unexpectedly , and you jump because you expect but you don’t expect it if you see where I’m coming from? It’s where you don’t want to talk to people or be with people for fear of saying something ‘wrong’ or them not liking you.

Avoiding certain situations because something that has a million in one chance of ever happening might happen or someone you don’t like or you think hates you will humiliate you.

It’s a long term often high but sometimes lower intensity feeling of on edgeness anxiousness, not feeling okay-ness. Feeling unsure of everything you’re doing saying and anything others are. Being hyper aware and extremely self aware of yourself and surrounding environment. Every noise, movement and touch can be terrifying.

This is anxiety.

It’s terrifying. But so many people have this as a demon. I do. Friends do. We all struggle some days. It’s alright to say you’re not okay. I’m fighting back with antidepressants/anti-anxiety medication, mindfulness, exercise , support from work and occupational health and my GP, and yoga. Dare I say it I’m making steady progress, holes in the fuckers armour.

But what I’m getting at is anxiety is often mistaken for normal nerves before big events. Anxiety isn’t like this (or at least not that I know). It’s normal to be terrified before a driving test or an exam. To be like this all the time isn’t nice. I started feeling like this and eventually twigged I might have a problem . Armed myself and fighting back now.

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