So today has been….well…..I dunno

So today I had a migraine. Not unusual you might think. I had one yesterday too which is strange for me. Both times I took my prescribed migraine meds – sumatriptan. Now apparently it’s known that there can be interactions between citalopram and sumatriptan with sumatriptan decreasing the efficacy otherwise known as the concentration in the blood/body, of citalopram therefore making it less effective. Now having never had two migraines in two days and therefore two sumatriptan tablets in two days, I initially didn’t think anything of it. Having my migraine gone by lunchtime, by around 2pm I started to feel quite agitated. This continued for the rest of the day which made me feel anxious and in a bad mood. I went to the gym for an intense session which is my usual sort of coping mechanism for when I’m agitated, which did help a little.

However this time, it didn’t completely work. I had my first ever ‘dark thought’ . It was just the one. “If I just got hit by a train, would anyone care?” It went as soon as it came, and I was able to almost instantaneously rationalise and counter it with “why do it – loads of people care about me – this is only temporary”.

All the same though, it scared me. Because I’ve never experienced anything like that before. But at least I was able to talk to someone about it. I am going to get in touch with my GP tomorrow and talk about the next steps. I really hope this is a blip , as my wellbeing/CBT group seems to be working and I’m using the techniques we learn, with the one we were taught about most recently being exposure therapy. Aims to reduce anxiety of a particular situation by repeated graded exposure to it.

I’m trying really hard to tackle these beasts of anxiety and depression, it is emotionally and physically draining doing it day in day out but I’ll keep fighting


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